There's only one of you and I only want you

It's hard to find someone who completes you so well. Someone who understands you when no one else does and loves you for who you are. They light your way and make everything clear to see; they motivate you and enlighten you with just their mere presence and you find reason to keep pushing forward. They are truth, they are sincerity. They make you oblivious to everything else. They are your safe house, your haven... When everything else is in chaos, they are your solid. They bring you peace when there's war. And although you may fight, hugging each other at the end of every day feels the most right...

Just the fact that it's hard to find someone who truly cares about you and will remain faithful to you should be enough to value and appreciate what we had more. Just the fact that we had a monogamous relationship and you were my first everything should've been enough for you to open your eyes and realize how special what you had was. Everything. The dedication, the perseverance, the unrelenting faithfulness and loyalty. The willingness, the capability, and the potential. And the connection, the irreplaceable connection that instantly sparked at first contact. And the powerful, undying love... So many things, just so many things that can't be replaced.

Whatever happened to faithfulness?

Monogamy is not realistic, therefore sexual diseases are more prominent. The world is a dirty place, but it's the people that make it dirty. Honestly, you're in danger of contracting diseases anywhere anytime. Protect yourself and don't take pride in having multiple sex partners; it's not cool, it's dangerous. And you don't know where they've been or who they've slept with. The average female/male will sleep with about 5 partners in their lifetime. Virginity never seems to last past a certain age, unless religious or obese. But even then. People kind of disgust me in general to be honest, it's kind of like living with civilized monkeys. It's no surprise that musicians that have traveled the world write a lot about these realities in their songs. But you don't need to travel the world to know.

Love has lost meaning, let's restore it.

True Love is not how it's portrayed in fairy tales, that's all fantasy. True love is when someone is true to you and they sincerely mean it when they make the promise to love and stay by your side and they persevere and remain loyal. But it's extremely hard to find love like that so it's regarded as a fantasy and people seem to laugh at the mention of it.

And that's the thing about pain.. It demands to be felt.

You're not dead, but you're not alive either... Caught in between two worlds. You're a ghost with a beating heart.

Meat Puppet

Trying to recall the lines of this poem I wrote to my ex.. Damn it, I really liked that poem and I may never see that piece of paper again. Well, here's the sequel:

Pulling on my heart strings

You are the puppet master

And I'm your puppet

I'm lifeless

Without your love

Place my heart on the shelf

When you don't need it

Take me out to play

For pure entertainment

Your love

It brings me to life

I gaze at you lovingly

You look at me

Expectantly

Is my sacrifice

Not enough

My jaw is cold

And empty now

No words left to say

Since you tucked me away

I sit there in the dusty closet

My last hope

Is that I haven't been forgotten

But I've surely been

Abandoned

And now I await the day

When someone can make me

Feel again

Love Kills

Playing with hearts

Like toys

Boys are playthings

Come be my play date

I'll rip your heart out

And leave it there to bleed

Some of the worst things

Make us feel the most alive

Your love

It's like a drug

You inject me

With your poison

With that toxic tongue

Kiss me

And caress me

Lure me into your trap

You give me chills

Like an adrenaline rush

We let ourselves get hurt

With vulnerable hearts

Because it makes us feel

Alive~

The Sky Cries Too

Rain falling

Like the tears

On my face

Rain falling

Sliding down

The windowpane

Like tiny

Crystal droplets

Disintegrating

Into nothing

And I sit there

By the window

Alone

Solemnly

Watching

Raindrops

Race down

To their own

Demise

And my teardrops

Join them

Relationship Stages

Couples go through different stages in their relationship; nothing starts off successful. You have to work for it, you have to learn how to do things right. You have the honeymoon period where everything is flowers and candy, the learning and growing together period (especially if you are both young) where there's a lot of compromise and sacrifice and you are both in the process of meshing together and making things work, the being slapped with reality period where you're both trying to go through the trials and tribulations of establishing a life together financially and in whatever other aspects, the struggling through life just to get by and make ends meet period, the sticking through all the shit together and being amazed by your perseverance through all the bullshit and fights period, the appreciation period where you've both made it past the hardest parts and are lucky to still have each other (but really the battle is never done, even though the war may be won), and any other stage you make it to, consider yourself the minority.

Exclusive Love

Laying there so happy next to you, I remember being filled with fear and thinking "I hope this never ends.. And goes on like this forever." I was so afraid to move or to speak because I didn't want to leave the moment... So I'd just lay there in silence, appreciating you and the moment. One of my biggest fears was leaving beautiful moments with you, and now it's my regret...  I wish I could've just laid there with you forever...

If you can't acknowledge something special, then you'll never value or appreciate.

Oh woe is love...

The grass (or ass) that looked greener over there across the street, turns out not to be so terrific and also riddled with shit. Lo and behold: Harsh reality. So if you have something special and can't even acknowledge it's special, then you just deserve shit on a lawn. Nonetheless, you (being the grateful faithful one) stick by their side because you love them and are determined to make things right. Unfortunately like the ungrateful piece of shit they are, they give up on the relationship and leave you. So finally after trying to fight and salvage the relationship you figure, okay, f**k it and you LET IT GO. No more questions asked, no requests for closure. You move on. You don’t call. You don’t text. Just like they probably requested you to do. And you just relegate them to mere aquaintancedom. Basically, they're dead to you for all intents and purposes. Not that you ever wanted that to begin with and truly deep down you will always (unfortunately) love them. But anyway, we're getting sidetracked here! So they go back on match and eharmony, whatever the fuck they do to get back into the dating game. They date, have a few flings here and there, whore it up and screw a few people (go ahead I don't want your sloppy used ass back anyway), etc, all that hullabaloo, and so on. Then when all the good time girls are gone, when the party is over, when they sober up, they find themselves – all alone. Oh what a surprise! It's not like you weren't a cocky asshole to begin with (you're lucky I put up with your unreliable ass). The harsh sober reality that there is no one who really, truly gives a rats ass about them like you surprisingly did and that no one else will ever replace that, is too much for them to handle. No one cares when they are sick, except their mom. I mean, of course, they're your parents. So she makes their favorite meal, goes out shopping for the rest of the day and calls to ask if they could please walk the dogs as soon as they feel better. Any siblings are married with kids by now, they have no time for their petty problems. No one really does. Their best friends are now either married or getting married. Or living their own life, busy with their own problems. The nights out on the town just aren’t that fun anymore. That last chick they took out to dinner got wasted, fell flat on her face and they had to carry her out of there, then she puked all over their car they had just washed. It’s not a pretty picture and they kind of just want to go home alone now, but they feel stuck. Meanwhile, they decide to check up on you (even just out of pure curiosity) and see you're moving on with your life. The shallow plastic trench of being single in the big city starts to feel like an inescapable prison of sickening debauchery and gut wrenching loneliness verging on several types of addictions, afflictions and contradictions they really don't want to contend with. Their life sucks; they're a mess. But they're so cocky they can't admit they miss you and want to give it another shot because they have finally realized they did have something special and it is worth fighting for. Slowly but surely their mind wanders back to those wonderful days before all the fights started happening and all the unnecessary bullshit took place, and they long for the familiarity of your embrace. That sweet nostalgic incomparable love that nothing could replace. That surety, that comfort, that security.. The unconditional love that you gave them even when they didn't treat you the greatest and how you always saw the best in them and believed in them even when all hope seemed lost. And you persevered and remained loyal and faithful. But they threw it away like an ignorant fool that doesn't know what he has until he's lost it. The gap that happened when they wanted space and you provided them with it, because you could provide that and anything else they required, is still there like a gaping hole. And filling it with other people only starved off the self inflicted pain of not having you in their life. So here they come after being slapped with reality and realizing things, back for a second helping, and in a lot of cases bearing a ring to show their true sincerity. But it's too bad cause you're already so far gone.

You are a star, now shine bright like one.

If you have done anything, then you are something.

Being published does not make a writer a writer. Writing with a passion is what makes a writer a writer. There's so many wonderful works left unpublished simply because the writer did not care to be published or never bothered.

All these standards and regulations that society imposes on us are not what define our accomplishments as humans. You don't need a degree in your hand to be intelligent.

Love hurts, but it makes me feel alive...

Don't give up, good things come to those who don't quit.

Irreconcilable differences, more like similarities you hypocrite. Negative cocky creep... They're all excuses, for your laziness. For your lack of communication that led to misunderstandings. You fucked it up yourself and then complained about it and threw it all away.

Listen to my heart.. It beats loudly for you...

Let me tell you, in the beginning I disliked people for destroying our planet, our home. For hurting each other and for doing more bad than good, but now I want nothing more but to help and save people. Because my intentions behind everything have always been good. I only dislike when it's harming something I love. I only dislike people when they hurt animals and they pollute and destroy the earth. But the truth is, I have nothing but love inside of me. And I could never hate, even if I wanted to.

Don't be sad.. I'm still here next to you.. I never left you, in your heart, in your mind, in your memory.. A part of me is still with you, everywhere you go. You thought you'd be able to just shake it off, to forget and move on, but something this powerful; a connection this strong, can never be destroyed. Even if it's been slaughtered and beaten and left for the dead, it will keep reviving until the end.

I am what you want when you have everything else.. What you desire when you have everything else at your disposal.. That's real love.. When you miss someone when you're busy, not when you're alone... I could have everything else, but I'd still choose you... You're my first and my last choice.. And I would never give up on you... So here I am following through... I love you.

Unreciprocated Love

When I asked you if you would still be with someone if they became disabled and you replied with a selfish answer like "Well, honestly, I'd be happier with someone else." I knew from that moment on that your love was not unconditional. And I didn't even bother telling you I'd do that for you after that.

Love Hurts

Sometimes you have to walk away, and if you both really loved each other you will find each other again someday....

You can be ready to fight for the relationship and do what it takes, but if the other person is not able to (at the moment, or at all) then you can put in all the effort and it still won't work out... You can't expect your love to be reciprocated all the time... And you shouldn't want it if it's forced...

Scattered Writings

And now I'm supposed to act like you never existed... After spending almost three years of your life with a person, you're just supposed to cut them out of your life completely.... That sounds a little unnecessary and a bit of an exaggeration, unless they murdered your family or something.

No shit it's going to be hard.. No shit life is going to knock you down.. If those are your reasons for giving up, then you'll never get anywhere.

Practice what you preach. It's very annoying when a person gives you all this advice and then just sits their ass down and does nothing.. People don't just do what they're told, they do what they see.

The smell of burning firewood and sweet perfume.... It makes me feel in love.... It has such a calming nostalgic effect on me... It reminds me of being young and free....

No one can compare to your embrace.. You're the one who makes my heart race...

And you knew I would read it because I never stopped reading your poetry.. I am your biggest fan, and you're my biggest guilty pleasure....

Compatibility is within capability so that's the true test of how much you really care about a person and are willing to make it work.

It's those little things that you took for granted, that now you'd be so honored to do...

Beautiful Mind.. Beautiful Soul.. Beautiful Whole

Everything you experience is through you~ And how well you've programmed this flesh machinery to operate. The world is a vast field of knowledge and information to process and your body is a tool. There is a correct way to do things, for appropriate results. And we're all humans living in the same world, with the same general needs and wants, pertaining mainly to survival and success. Let's do things right. Let's save ourselves and this planet.

You said you left me so you wouldn't hurt me anymore. But if you leave, I'll be hurting forever just missing you..

There's no "better," no relationship starts off successful. You have to make it good. I told you, let us be the exception together.

I'm just speaking the truth; I'm just distributing facts.

What goes around comes back around....

This life works in mysterious ways, almost perfectly sometimes.... Karma is very real, in the sense that negative energy attracts bad things; therefore, bad things come to bad people and vice versa. Things naturally gravitate to each other in this world.. Events play out almost like scripted scenes sometimes and things happen like they're meant to be. Everything seems to fall into place eventually, into it's assigned spot. Like a carefully programmed cycle. The orbit of the planet and the setting of the sun and moon. The seasons and the corresponding weather.. It's simply amazing sometimes...

Reality hits you.. And it hits hard.

Something written by a person who lost their first love (he broke-up with her):

“First of all it isn’t hopeless. The reason that he wont take you back is because he is honestly crushed, assuming that he was truly in love with you. And you were his first; no other girl will ever be able to fill your shoes. I know this first hand; I had a similar situation where I went to college, left the girl I was dating, and while I was away realized what I was missing and that she was truly the one for me. So I came home and through a great struggle, I got her back. I had to leave for school again and while I was away we said we’d make it work but when I came back again a couple months later I’d heard rumors that she didn't want anything to do with me anymore and she was avoiding me. I was crushed, I know she’s been with other guys and what not since then and it kills me to think about it, but I know that through all of this there is nothing I could do to get her back. She's stubborn as hell and makes me feel like its all my fault for going to college. Well even though I hate her and it makes me sick to think of all these other guys she’s been with and I’d have to kick the **** out of a lot of people who talk **** about her and would make fun of me for dating her because of her slutty reputation, I would still take her back in a heartbeat. Just because once you find that one great person that makes you feel right, no one can fill their shoes. I can’t find a girl that can kiss better, is better in bed or anything that she did for me and the reason is she was the first and I compare everyone to her and you will never find someone that your satisfied with so eventually, I presume someday, I’m just going to have to settle. I’d guess that guy feels the same way about you, but unlike me he’s putting up a bigger struggle to make you feel bad about what you’ve done. I think you have a fighting chance because of the fact that you’re the impression in his mind; you’re the standard he holds other girls to and that’s why his other relationships aren’t working. I don't think he’s going to give in; he’s probably bull-headed about giving you another shot. But the fact that he has to still have some feeling for you because feelings like that just don't ever go away, definitely leaves the potential for reconciliation. I know it’s been almost two years for me and I still think about it. Good Luck, I hope all works out for you.”

Hypochondriac Idiots

Unique symptoms, associated with a certain medical condition. You must consider them carefully because common symptoms like fatigue and lightheadedness can be correlated to various things. Be smart and well-informed. It irks me when ignorant people are like "Oh no, I have diabetes!" simply because they're experiencing frequent urination or some general symptom.

....

People tell me I'm intelligent all the time, and I always thoroughly analyze and consider everything aside from the fact that I'm very attentive and detail-oriented. People tell me I'm exceptional and not like any other people, in all of the good ways. And I'm not vain, I'm confident because I can acknowledge these things and be proud. But there's a very thin line between vanity and confidence so misinterpretation is possible. But the truth remains; either you really are a vain asshole, or you're just simply exerting a lot of confidence to the extent of having the wrong idea arise. You can be humble and confident. And my business coach told me there's truly greatness in me and as his pupil I intrigue and amaze him; he tells me he honestly feels like our roles are reversed. And that means so much to hear from intelligent insightful people I admire..

Finding your safe house, your absolute, your certainty... No matter what's going on in the world; chaos, destruction.. You have one thing for sure... The person you love; your forever and always.

Real love remains, even after the other person is gone.. Even after death.

I was your absolute in many ways and you didn't care, value, or appreciate. Heck, you probably didn't even realize.. And inevitably, I'll continue to be your absolute. Because I will always love you. And no one can love you as deeply as I do, this love was established by me and me alone. 

This love we shared together, individually, was so amazing when we were happy and not fighting and it gave me chills and I swear I felt sparks go off inside me like fireworks in my soul, in my heart... Every time I was close to you... And holding your hand made me feel complete... Fingers intertwined like the pieces of a puzzle put together... A connection so powerful it made me shake from the reverberation.. The intense effect, the impact it had on me.. And it still leaves me in awe...

We dreamt of each other before we met... Out of all the people from around the world that would pop up on my Facebook, you were the one that kept persistently coming up..

And I know that's something really special...

Ungrateful Ignorant Human

You were blaming me for your unhappiness when you were unhappy before and after me. If that doesn't tell you that the problem is yourself, then I don't know what will. Excuse me if you thought that relationships are always happy good times. At least acknowledge how happy I made you when we were together and not fighting. Thank you, oh and you're welcome.

Life

Objective qualities- Something that is true on it's own; something that exists independently. The color of a flower, the consistency of syrup, the bumpy texture of a surface, the size of a melon, the measurement of a bust, someone's weight, a circular shape. Visual objective qualities aid in communication, to describe an object or scene. The night is dark, the sun is bright, the freezer is cold, the ice cream is creamy, the orange is round, the rock is hard, etc. Tall and short. Thin and thick. Young and old. A new shirt versus an old tattered shirt. A prickly cactus, a thorny rosebush, a muddy trail, a slippery floor, a freckly face, a fuzzy pillow...

Loving someone is finding meaning in life because everything seems more wonderful when you experience it with them; they fill you with passion and motivation to want to live and do good things and to make them proud. And you begin to find meaning in everything; things they do and say because it affects you in such an amazing way...

People seem to defend opinions as if they're a way to justify stupidity. As if someone's opinions are just as reputable as knowledge. Whether someone thinks another person is a whore, does not qualify the person as such; the truth is the truth so either they're a whore or they're not (under qualified standards). The truth exists independently and people seem to forget that when they're so wrapped up in their own feelings. You're entitled to your own naive opinions, but not your own facts. And if you're a rational intelligent person, then facts should affect your feelings about something.

The reality is that humans are inherently selfish creatures, so finding someone who genuinely gives a shit about you and remains by your side through the years is not likely. Sure you can find nice people who want to help you and are just generally nice, but (with personal agendas aside) for the person to actually stick with you through thick and thin is not common in relationships. There's more separation than unity in this world riddled with conflict and chaos. If anything, that should be reason to value the people you have in your life more and if you're fortunate enough to find someone who follows through and perseveres and never leaves your side then never let them go.

Consideration

You're out there searching for a better love, when I can be the best.

We were right for each other, but we found each other at the wrong time. You told me you hadn't loved yourself from the beginning. But when you told me I helped you love yourself a little more everyday, with my genuine sincerity and unconditional love, it made me feel so happy and it felt so right being next to you. It felt so right holding you and laying my head on your chest and hearing your heart beat and kissing you. I could fall asleep with my lips on yours... When everything else in the world is so wrong, you were my safe house, my haven. Your warm embrace was like a security blanket. And still, even after all of this, the only place that feels right is next to you.

Nothing can compare to such a deep love and such a powerful connection... You just become jaded and everything else is inadequate because nothing can replace it...